I help many clients who have difficulties feeling at ease within social interactions. Many people would think the problem is lack of self-confidence, but if you look deeper, it’s often more about misdirection of FOCUS, naturally exacerbated when you’re in situations where it can feel like ALL EYES ARE ON ME.
Some people (like Tupac and other would-be celebrities) seem to thrive and in fact seem to NEED that kind of attention, but for most normal people, it’s uncomfortable and some people go to great lengths to avoid it.
PROBLEM: if you try to solve this by increasing your own SELF-confidence, or by trying to make your SELF more interesting, or by trying to suppress feelings of discomfort, that is exactly the wrong direction to turn your attention towards.
Here is a very interesting video of an optical illusion that demonstrates how intense focus can literally cause negative distortions in perception (for full effect, watch this short clip in FULL SCREEN mode, or stick your face really close to the screen):
Think about how this would apply to yourself if you focused too intently on your own feelings, your own internal dialog, and your own appearance during a social interaction.
The classic work “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie contains the solution: develop and display sincere and genuine interest in the person in front of you.
Strangely, some people think that advice sounds phony and manipulative, as if it’s unimaginable that you could be curious about the OTHER person. But in my observation, those tend to be the same people who would benefit the most from adopting the Carnegie attitude!
If you think about it, there is no alternative solution. You cannot solve problems related to self-consciousness by focusing more on yourself!
Wouldn’t it be great to be as naturally comfortable with yourself as this little lady 🙂 –>
Hypnosis can help alter the direction of focus in ways which make social interactions more comfortable and rewarding, not just for yourself, but for everyone involved… and that should be the whole point, right?